January 26, 2012
Catch up time
So much for more regular blogging as I vowed in my last one (January 2011….). Oh well, quality not quantity (neither is guaranteed here though) I suppose.
Soooo, what has happened since then? Well….we are still in Spain, in spite of many a ‘Get me out of this hellhole back to bloody civilisation NOW!!!’ type tantrum. Will be four years in March. The house hasn’t suffered from the (well-documented here) damp and mould problems since that first winter, the builders have been paid off, and we are slowly working on the outside, terraces etc. The most important thing, however, is the THE HEATING FINALLY WORKS!!!! Yes, we finally dispensed with the services of Dumb & Dumber the Hopeless Plumbers and got the REAL people in. The ones who actually regularly install systems like ours and they SORTED it! OK, it cost us, but we now have a lovely warm house, all rooms. We put a couple of radiators in too, which make a difference. I’m now sitting in my toastie-warm living room. And it’s cold outside.
Work? After seven years, my work at iVillage is coming to an end next month. Their decision, not mine, although I haven’t enjoyed my work for the last year, for various reasons which I won’t go into. Yet. So I am once again on the job market. Not easy for an old bird like me who works from (a nice warm) home in the middle of nowhere in a foreign land. I have a small moderating job which I’ve been doing at weekends for the last year, and am increasing from next week, so I won’t starve. And something else in the pipeline which is yet to be confirmed.
OH is commuting to the UK more sometimes for nearly two weeks at a time, so I’m a effectively a single mum a lot of the time. Not great. But needs must and all that. Especially now.
We had a proper holiday this summer too! I took two WHOLE weeks off work (something I’ve never done before) and we drove to England and back, via various stop offs – Barcelona, Disneyland, San Sebastian (beautiful city but does it EVER not RAIN there?), Madrid – for the pilgrimage to Bernebeu, essential for my Real Madrid obssessed little boy- among others. Good time was had.
Have thought of a lot of other things to say while I’ve been writing this. More blog fodder then. Watch this space…..
February 5, 2011
My daughter’s big fat (one gypsy) wedding
One thing I haven’t mentioned in my previous ‘catch-up’ blog was a monumental event, which deserves a blog of its own. Yes, I became a mother-in-law. The fact that my new son-in-law is pushing 40 makes it a bit odd too.
Sooooo, on Saturday September 18th my very beautiful daughter, Holly became a wife and I can now be a Les-Dawsonesque harridan to my heart’s content! Watch out James……
Where to begin? Well, let’s start with getting ready, and for me a big, big occasion – the buying of my outfit. I’m not one of life’s shoppers, and even less one of life’s dresser-uppers. I know I probably left it a bit late, but 6 days before the wedding, once I’d arrived in the UK, my 2 daughters frog-marched me into John Lewis, whizzed around the store like Trinny and Susannah on speed, and picked out a selection of outfits for me to try on.
I tried on a few quite nice ones, with lots of lovely shop assistants (who obviously saw me as a bit of a challenge) falling over themselves to help, bringing along all the accessories to try too. I eventually opted for a nice red number, with a lovely turquoise blue ‘mini-jacket’ – I’m sure it has a name in the fashion dictionary but not sure, a bolero maybe?? – with the obligatory hat. Well I say hat. More a kind of flying saucer perced sideways on my head. Not quite hat, not quite fascinator (a word I have only recently added to my vocabulary, had no idea what it was before). But something else had to be bought. The bra. Yes, in my post-menopausal years I am astounded to have found I now have a bosom! So how surprised I was when being measured up by the ever-helpful John Lewis ladies to find that I am no longer the paltry 34B which I was in previous times (apart from pregnancy & breastfeeding times I haven’t worn a bra for about 30 years) but was eventually kitted out with a 34E wonderbra (with fillets – another new word I learned recently). There was even talk of F and even G when being fitted……so yes, I arrived at the wedding with a proper Barbara Windsor style (well maybe not quite) CLEAVAGE. And here I am, a bit later into the proceedings.
Me and my cleavage. and my other favourite accessory - the wine bottle
Anyway, now to the day itself. It was a lovely day, a bit cold, but at least no rain, which was fab. I arrived at ex-hubby’s ‘wing of stately-home’ house in the morning where things were already a hive of activity, and went to the ‘girl’s room’ where Holly and all her bridesmaids (including my other equally beautiful daughter Katie) were clucking around in true hen fashion (oh I never mentioned the hen weekend in Marbella – will save that for another time). There was a hairdresser and make-up people, so again, I indulged in something else I dont’ do too often – had some proper make up (not just the usual eyeliner and mascara I occasionally don, but proper stuff, like foundation, and blusher…). Holly was already looking beautiful, even in her curlers. The marquee was up and ready, the caterers setting up, it was all a lot of fun and very exciting. Holly was really calm about it all really (unless she was hiding her nerves exceptionally well).
Me and Holly just before the curlers came out!
And to the church, where James was looking like he was about to do something unspeakable in his trousers – unlike the picture of calm (and radiance) that was Holly. All went well, even my boys stayed relatively quiet in the church, and the happy couple eventually emerged as son-in-law and wife.
The Happy Couple
On to the reception. By now, the bra was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable (rather like a vice clamped around my chest), and as for the shoes (which I haven’t yet mentioned), well the less said the better. Suffice it to say I was barefoot for a lot of the reception (until I managed to sneak into the house and put on my sandals). So the copious amounts of champagne, taken solely for anaesthetic purposes, came in handy.
The wedding guests were they usual copious mix you’d expect at any wedding – kids rioting around and generally misbehaving, as their parents are too busy concentrating on getting drunk , old relatives wheeled out only for occasions like this, drunk Polish uncles, a few ‘posh people’ tutting at the drunk young (and old) people, and even a gypsy chap- suitably attired in a ridiculous blue satin suit – who I believe is a millionaire caravan park mogul and now Holly’s boss.
Needless to say, I got very very drunk. Sad to say, at my age really. But even my mother (80 years old ) got very very drunk. As did most people. There were the usual fights, drunken breakages (one guy bit into a glass…) etc and I did something I again haven’t done for many many years – crashed out on a sofa – fully clothed – including even the clamp-like constriction of the wonderbra-and slept like a baby all night. I bloody hurt the next morning though…..the shame. My mother too went to bed fully clothed, so I didn’t feel quite so bad about the embarrassment.
OK, that’s it, really, I’ve been a mum-in-law now for nearly five months. And not nagged once….
The three lushes - me, my Mum and my sister
The most beautiful bridesmaid - my daughter Katie
Before the wedding, before the bra
The beautiful bride, not with her new husband, but his identical twin brother...
July 28, 2010
Is the end nigh for recipe books?
Whilst I love recipe books and must have at least 100 of the things (Ainsley’s Meals in Minutes being the bible in this household, and the sublime goddess Delia much revered, especially at Christmas) I find myself increasingly searching for recipes online. There are loads of recipe finders around, where I just key in the main ingredients, and hey presto! a choice of new and exciting ideas, with photos and even videos to show me how to do it. So why have the bulky (and often expensive )cookbooks at all? Yes they are nice to look at and to have on the shelf, but are they losing their usefulness? Here is one of the said recipe finder tools, from iVillage:
iVillage UK Recipe Finder
July 20, 2010
The World’s longest forum thread?
This thread has been continuing on one of our Mums’ Club boards for years now, and it’s still growing. 245,528 posts so far. Over 3 million views. It’s kept going by a small group of friends, so it’s not as if thousands of people are adding to it. It’s not a discussion or anything, just one of those that people just add whatever they want to it. It’s quite an acheivement I think, and I was wondering if anyone knew of any longer threads? I’m sure there must be some bigger ones somewhere. Wonder if there is an official world record knocking around somewhere….
July 16, 2010
Why ‘Virtual’ friends can be better than ‘real life’ friends
Over the years I’ve been working in the world of online community I have often been impressed by the level of friendship and, well, community that is conveyed via message boards/forums etc. I think sometimes people feel they can open up more when in the more ‘anonymous’ world of online. They can discuss problems in a way they can’t with their ‘real’ friends. In many cases it’s the only way to get objective advice – from people who are not involved in one’s real life, and don’t know the other people involved. This in turn, can help people to give good advice back. Some of the quotes in this piece I put together a while back illustrate:
‘I don’t actually have many friends in real-life that I could chat to about the things that I chat to my ivillage friends about’
‘I confide in you all sometimes a lot more than I would to me ‘real’ friends’
‘When my little boy Jake died the support I received was overwhelming especially from the ladies on Jake’s homeboard. They even clubbed together and got me a gorgeous memory book filled with photos of Jake and somebody trawled through all the boards and found all my old posts from the positive pregnancy test to present to go in the book. ‘
That last example I think is so very touching, and it’s not the first or last time this sort of thing has happened.
Of course, the friendships made online don’t always stay online. At iVillage, many, many of our boardies have become close lifelong friends as a result of meeting online, and there are always ‘board meets’ going on where they get together. They do, naturally, spill onto social networks like Facebook too.
This isn’t restricted to our boards, of course. There are other forums I visit, www.twinsclub.co.uk , for example is a website for parents of multiples. The forums on there too have shown a fantastic level of friendship, and belonging. Again, there have been many meet-ups, huge support for members when they have experienced difficulties.
A lot of people I know scoff at the idea of forming true friendships with people you have never met, but I think the article above truly shows that it can, and does, happen.
July 11, 2010
Football
It’s been so long since I last blogged I haven’t even talked about the World Cup. And it’s a bit late to discuss England’s pitiful performance (what is it about these guys, who are brilliant individual players, but stick an England shirt on them, put them together and they morph into some sort of Sunday League side?).
Anyway, The Final tonight. I am supporting Spain in this, but have always had a bit of a soft spot for Holland, since the Johann Cruyff/Johnny Rep days (showing my age here). I would be going to see it in town on the big screen to soak up some of the atmosphere, but unfortunately I am working an 8 hour shift tonight (new job, will leave that to another blog!) so can’t. Will have to make do with home-made pizza with the boys and telly out on the terrace instead. I’m sure we will hear the noise and see the fireworks if they win. Daniel has bought a huge Spanish flag to wave around, I hope for his sake they win. Joe doesn’t give a monkeys, he will probably go upstairs to watch a DVD (funny how twins can be so different – will leave that for another blog too). May the octopus be right again.
June 21, 2010
More pros & cons of Spain
Over the weeks since my last blog, I’ve come up with more good things and bad things to add to my list.
Will start with bad things:
1. Since we moved OH has developed an allergy to olive pollen – it affects his chest. This means that not only is he driving me mad with his incessant coughing, he doesn’t want to spend the evenings sitting outside – to me one of the nicest things in summer in Spain. And we live SURROUNDED by olives.
2. My local supply of British produce has gone – there was a weekly market in a village nearby, which had a pie stall where I got quiches, sausages, bacon, sausage rolls etc, but now it has stopped.
3. Lack of any kind of information from the school. We never get told about days off (the school bus not turning up is usually when we find out). We have no idea at all when they go back after the summer holiday. Which brings me to number 4….
4. The veeeeerrrrrryyyyyyy looooooonnnnnnggggggggg school summer holiday! Nearly 3 months! What do working parents do? I know most have family etc, but I’m sure not all do. The boys break up tomorrow. Luckily we have got them into 6 weeks of summer school. Also no half-terms, and really uneven term-times.
OK, NICE things:
1. Proper fishmongers in all towns. In the UK there just wasn’t a fishmonger in my local town, and it’s so nice to have a good choice.
2. There are still petrol-pump attendants in Spain, in most petrol stations. I know it’s not hard to do it myself, but I do like to be served!
3. EVERY village has a shop, bar and local transport. At least I think they do! So many British villages have nothing (the last village we lived in is an example) and thus lose any chance of having a sense of community.
Oh, and another good thing following from the last blog – the British family ARE moving in after all. But a bad thing – they have 3 dogs 
To add to the other 6 or 7 there are incessantly yapping around us.
May 11, 2010
What else can go wrong?
Since we moved here I think the world has been trying to tell us we shouldn’t be here. So many things have gone against us, from the building to the weather its getting silly. Here is a list:
1. The recession/exchange rate. Already mentioned in previous blogs but this is the biggest. It has made a HUGE difference to us. but won’t go into that too much.
2. We weren’t allowed to do all the things we wanted to this house (and were told would be no problem). So as a result it’s not as big as we wanted.
3. The price of the building escalated (partly our fault for not keeping better tabs on it , but was also partly due to builders giving an ‘approximate’ cost, us agreeing to the work, then being told it was going to be double).
4. We have no friends to speak of. When we first came there was a little group of people who we knew, mostly who had small kids like us, not really friends, but people we could have the odd lunch or coffee with. Since then they have all either moved back to the UK, or relocated to the coast (which almost amounts to the same thing). Now we have just one couple who we see about twice a year. That’s it. We live in the country, and the boys get a school bus, so we don’t even see other parents. I also wonder if its because we are older than the average parents, and just don’t quite fit in…..we’re not part of the blue-rinse and gin set either.
5. As previously documented, the building work has been a disaster. The house is (still) full of mould and the underfloor heating still doesn’t work properly. We can’t have people to stay as the spare room is the worst. We are currently in dispute with the architect and builders, which is proving very stressful.
6. We’ve had the wettest winter for 60 years. That coupled with the above hasn’t been great. It is now mid May and it is still cold and wet, which really doesn’t help the mood.
7. Ryanair have stopped flying to Granada airport, so there are now no British services there at all. A pain, as OH works in the UK and needs to commute, and the airport is only 30 minutes away (one of the reasons we bought this house).
8. The bar/restaurant down the road, and the only one that is walking distance has just closed down.
9. The British family who were supposed to be moving to the house up the track, who had a 6 year old boy who instantly befriended my two 6-year-olds appear to have pulled out of the deal. Not a disaster, but it would have been nice.
10. The sodding volcano! This is the biggie. As OH has to fly regularly to England, it is actually quite important that airspace is open. So far he missed one weekend’s work, got a 33 hour coach journey for another one, and now is stuck over there cos the damned thing has now closed Malaga airport. And of course, as we also depend on income from our holiday house, we are now worried that clients will cancel. Or not book in the first place. Especially as this cloud could hang around for years…..
11. Back to the ones already mentioned in previous blogs. We couldn’t get Iberbanda broadband (cheap, fast reliable) even though we are quite clearly in their area of coverage, something we checked again and again. We can’t get a landline. We were led to believe that this would be sorted within days of us moving in. We have a limited supply of electricity. We were told to increase it would be easy and cheap- not so, Endesa asked for €23.000 to increase it. This means we have to be careful, and I can’t use my lovely new Lacanche range to its full capacity. All three of these things were ones we were relying on.
12. Connected to the landline thing above, my central office have decided that Skype is not allowed on work computers, so mine has been blocked. OK, I still have it on my other computer, but it was convenient having a phone I could use while working, and in my office (our satellite broadband doesn’t reach up there). And as we only have very unreliable satellite internet, even Skype is very intermittent. And our mobile phones hardly ever seem to have a signal.
13. We haven’t got our licence of first occupation yet. We can’t apply to build a swimming pool until we have that, so we are now facing a summer without a pool (however I think we can create a plunge pool out of our current well/pond). Not sure if we can afford a pool anyway, especially if we don’t get the income from the holiday house.
14. I got made redundant. OK, I did get my job back, but its on reduced hours and I’ve had to join the Spanish system, which means a huge drop in income, as I have to pay over €270 a month in social security payments. And I had to endure a couple of VERY stressful months not knowing if I was going to get my job back or not.
I’m sure there are others, but there have been so many things, I’m beginning to lose count! And wonder what will be next …….
